How to Support a Friend Who’s Struggling Mentally
Everyone struggles sometimes, but not everyone knows how to ask for help. If you have a friend who seems distant, withdrawn, stressed, or overwhelmed, your support can make more difference than you think. Here’s how to show up in a way that is actually helpful — not awkward, intrusive, or forced.
Notice the Signs
Some signs a friend may be struggling:
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- They withdraw from conversations or group activities
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- Their mood or energy changes suddenly
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- They stop doing things they normally enjoy
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- They joke about “being tired of everything”
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- They seem overwhelmed, angry, or numb
You don’t need to diagnose them. You just need to notice.
Start the Conversation Gently
Instead of: “What’s wrong with you?” Try: “You’ve seemed different lately. I’m here if you want to talk.”
Useful open questions:
- “How have you really been feeling lately?”
- “Do you want to talk or just have company?”
- “Is there something stressing you out right now?”
Listening is the main job. Not fixing.
Be Present, Not Pushy
What to do:
- Let them speak at their pace
- Sit with them even in silence
- Respect boundaries
- Offer help, don’t force it
Example: “Would it help if I checked in on you tomorrow, or do you prefer space?”
Practical Ways to Support
- Send a voice note or message just to say you care
- Bring food or help with small tasks
- Invite them out without pressure
- Share resources (hotlines, therapists, support groups) if they’re open to it
- Remind them they are not a burden
When Professional Help Is Needed
If your friend talks about self-harm, hopelessness, or giving up, don’t ignore it. Say something like: “I’m worried about you. I think talking to a mental health professional could help — I can go with you if you want.” Add hotline info here if needed (varies by country).
You don’t have to fix someone’s pain. Sometimes, just sitting with them in it is enough.